Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What to Expect When You're Not Expecting

You can expect that I’ll first be confused, then pissed off, and then run out of the store in tears, all the while forgetting to grab my purchase. Then when I have to turn around and go back into the store for my stupid hand soap, you can expect me to not talk to you, glare in your face, and expect you to also throw in a freebie for basically calling me fat. You can also expect that I’ll never be back to your store. “Oh!” she says, “well maybe it’s the sweater.” “Oh”, I say in my head, “maybe it’s your face, or your mom, or your mom’s face.”

You can maybe expect me to possibly hang up this sweater jacket…forever.

8 comments:

drew said...

See, this is exactly why I carry a two-by-four with a couple of choice nails sticking out of it whenever I go shopping.

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