Resolve and Evolve 2009

My Resolve and Evolve posts are not only a time to set goals for the new year, but also a time to reflect on the past year's accomplishments and derelictions. Dating stories are usually always the highlight of my year. 2008 had the 3-date weekend where I narrowly avoided a stalker, a clinger, and a Disney Lifetime Member. But I did meet my 2008 resolution of going on a subsequent dates, which is why I somehow managed to land a boyfriend, who has decided to stick around even after reading my lame-ass blog. I was also able to delete all sentimental text messages - mainly due to the fact that I dropped my blackberry in the toilet. But alas, the new year is here and it's time to Resolve and Evolve.


1) Buy new bras - But this was on the 2008 list? Yes, it was. And guess what, not only did I not buy new bras, but my boobs have managed to get even bigger.

2) Mail all birthday/congratulatory/thank-you cards in a timely manner - This resolution may also include me mailing the many, outdated addressed envelopes sitting on my desk at home. I mean, so what if Hebard's birthday card from 2004 never got to her, I'm sure she'd still love to the get a card from me no matter the month. It will be like I'm haunting my friends from the past. Maybe the real resolution is that I should just stop pretending that I'm one of those people who thinks about their friends and buys them cards to celebrate their milestones.

3) Cook at least one new recipe a week - I'm 28 and I figured it's about time I start becoming a little more domestic. At least I think that's the hint my mom is making when she gifts fancy dancy kitchen gadgets and cookbooks every Christmas and birthday. I'll probably start by dusting off the ole gravy strainer?

4) To not buy the Malibu Pilates Chair - Guthy-Renker and all of those other exercise infomercial folks are geniuses. They only air infomercials at a times during the day when normal people are out doing active things, and the pathetic are sitting on their asses mesmerized by the featured product's testimonials and demonstrations. You can get lost for hours dreaming of the potential physical transformation. I'm not going to lie, the Malibu Pilates Chair is a very attractive offer, with some very attractive bonus DVD's, workout charts, and diet suggestions. I mean, who can refute Susan Lucci and her petite little physique? I will not succumb, but rather save the $314.95 for my new bras.

I'd like to briefly showcase a friend's resolution (thanks, Haley): "Build up my immune system." This is really quite brilliant. In saying that you're going to build up your immune system, you don't have to identify the specific, pesky tasks that help you (exercise more, eat better foods, drink less alcohol, take a daily multi-vitamin, etc). This saves a lot of disappointment if you don't lose those 10lbs or eat your daily fruits and veggies, but ultimately you're the one who suffers because you'll be illin' all the time.

Happy 2009!

There's No Place Like Someone Else's Home for the Holidays

Have the rules changed with respect to dating and sharing holidays? I must still be a traditionalist, for I thought that you didn't share holidays until you were actually married. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to share my holidays until I'm actually married, or maybe I just don't want to share them period. Since being in my recent relationship people keep asking if we will be spending Thanksgiving together, or more recently Christmas together. "No," I usually say, and then maybe throw in another "no" just for emphasis, and then another "no" because I have just envisioned what that might be like...

The truth is, I was asked to Thanksgiving dinner, but I respectfully declined. And maybe once I set that tone, there was never really any discussion of whether or not we would be spending Christmas together. I mean, let's be honest, why would you want to prematurely subject yourself to someone else's holiday traditions? They will never be up to par with those that your family practice, and thus your partner's family will be unfairly judged (well, they will eventually be judged, but better later). If the tables were turned, I don't necessarily want to explain how every Christmas Eve my sister and I break out sequin gloves from high school dance team days and perform routines, or how my entire family drinks an inordinate amount of champagne and passes out before our guests have even left, or how my Dad generally doesn't rise until about noon and fixes a Bloody Mary Christmas.

It's sort of like when people talk about giving birth. I really don't want to know the details, not just because they're gross, but because I rather go into the whole experience with complete and utter ignorance. So yes, I just likened going home for the holidays with your significant other to giving birth. I mean, you can tell me about your traditions, but they may sound lame. And I rather experience them first hand once I am committed to having the baby. What?