The Act of Inaction

It’s never surprising to my friends when they come over to hear “don’t mind my bedroom, I forgot to pick it up.” The running gag, is that I never pick it up – or any other room for that matter. I HATE cleaning. I don’t know if it’s that I don’t like the smell of cleaning supplies, or the space the equipment takes up in my small apartment, or the energy you have to exert while actually picking up. It’s pure laziness, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. When you live by yourself, it becomes even worse because you don’t have to share a space with anyone; however, I’m sure many to all of my old roommates would agree that I probably had very little regard for public space as well.

Today, folks, I’m coming clean. The truth is, the act of inaction is much more exhausting, costly, time-consuming and unhygienic than the actual task itself.

Inaction #1: Cleaning your sheets, but never actually putting them on your bed.
Result: Sleeping for many weeks either on a bare mattress, or on your couch. This really disturbing result needs no explanation. Sleeping on the couch can result in a bad back, a poor night’s sleep, and a permanent indention between the far right and middle cushions where your ass laid to rest.

Inaction #2: Keeping a dry cleaning bag full of clothes, but never taking them to the dry cleaners.
Result: Either a really pricey dry-cleaning bill when you eventually decide to go, or, a limited days of the week wardrobe consisting of faded items that can only be put through the wash.

Inaction #3: Pretending to be healthy and fit by signing up for a gym membership, but never actually picking up your membership packet or stepping foot inside the door.
Result: Throwing $75 a month down the drain, and achieving the opposite physical results.

Inaction #4: Feeling hungry, looking into the empty fridge, and not going to the grocery store to buy normal food.
Result: Scrounging around for change because you don’t have any money after you wasted it on a pointless gym membership or new clothes because you don’t want to wash the ones you have, and hitting up the dollar menu at McDonald’s, or the convenience store for 8 packs of Ramen Noodles for a dollar (genius). Suspected physical results.

Inaction #5: Coming in from a weekend away and never once unpacking your bag except for the essentials like your toothbrush, and occasionally your hair brush.
Result: Wasted time looking for your favorite t-shirt in your dresser when it’s crammed at the bottom of one of the 10 unpacked weekend bags in your living room. Eventually turning your living room into the walk-in closet you always wanted.


I’m making myself stop here.