Haley's Tip of the Month (yes, we're going back to the original title)

Going out to a bar after a dinner date is like a call option. Only when your stock is up should you exercise your option. If you exercise when it's down, you're going to take a loss.

Oracle of Pendergrass - A Memorial Day Salute to the Officer and the Gentleman

I knew those huge Chiclet white teeth (Mr. T from the Letter People anyone?), winning shit-eater grin, and dorky over-thought pre-rose ceremony monologues reminded me of someone. Nothing like seeing the blond twin of a former flame (flame sans big muscles) on national t.v. to make you realize the truth - he totally cramped your style. No more guys with pleated khaki short-shorts or tapered jeans for this girl.

Thank You Lieutenant Andy! I freakin' love you.

Oracle of Pendergrass (f.k.a. - Haley's Tip of the Month)

The Oracle, in her infinite wisdom, on likening a failed relationship attempt to a lemon:

That was not a failed attempt. I don't think that had anything to do with you, except that you happened to like a guy who had non-datable qualitites. Kind of like buying a lemon. Its not the way you were driving, the equipment was faulty.

And wouldn't it just be like an Oracle to take more money from you to let you in on more prophecies, only to give you a prophecy she stole from a wise friend. Kathleen's take on the one-night-stand:

It doesn't count as a one night stand if you wanted to see him again. It's not your fault he never called.

Haley's Tip of Month

On reveling in your single youth...

We might still, at 27 years old, go through several serious boyfriends and breakups before finding the person we'll be with for the rest of our lives. Try to get over the whole stereo-type/pressures to be with someone and have kids and crap. Remember to enjoy these years because we're not going to get them back.

Haley's Tip of the Month

On Why Your Ex should buy YOU the drink and not the other way around...

next time you let him buy you the drink. and while he's leaning over to pay, slip your hand in his pocket and grab a twenty or two for yourself. you deserve it.