There's No Place Like Someone Else's Home for the Holidays

Have the rules changed with respect to dating and sharing holidays? I must still be a traditionalist, for I thought that you didn't share holidays until you were actually married. Or maybe it's just that I don't want to share my holidays until I'm actually married, or maybe I just don't want to share them period. Since being in my recent relationship people keep asking if we will be spending Thanksgiving together, or more recently Christmas together. "No," I usually say, and then maybe throw in another "no" just for emphasis, and then another "no" because I have just envisioned what that might be like...

The truth is, I was asked to Thanksgiving dinner, but I respectfully declined. And maybe once I set that tone, there was never really any discussion of whether or not we would be spending Christmas together. I mean, let's be honest, why would you want to prematurely subject yourself to someone else's holiday traditions? They will never be up to par with those that your family practice, and thus your partner's family will be unfairly judged (well, they will eventually be judged, but better later). If the tables were turned, I don't necessarily want to explain how every Christmas Eve my sister and I break out sequin gloves from high school dance team days and perform routines, or how my entire family drinks an inordinate amount of champagne and passes out before our guests have even left, or how my Dad generally doesn't rise until about noon and fixes a Bloody Mary Christmas.

It's sort of like when people talk about giving birth. I really don't want to know the details, not just because they're gross, but because I rather go into the whole experience with complete and utter ignorance. So yes, I just likened going home for the holidays with your significant other to giving birth. I mean, you can tell me about your traditions, but they may sound lame. And I rather experience them first hand once I am committed to having the baby. What?