I remember at a young age, we would gather 'round the dining room table at my maternal grandparents' home in Ocean Springs, MS - we were very quick to say the blessing so we could move on to the toasts. I recall that after every toast my grandmother would raise her glass and say - "L'Chaim" (la - kai - hem, the "hem" rattled with your best phlegm). Most goyems don't know this term, but it means "to life" in yiddish. I thought it fascinating, that she spoke a language that none of us knew - and we would of course respond with great naches, "L'Chaim."
This is the first memory I have of my grandmother's intrigue with the Jewish culture and religion - it wasn't until about 10 years or so later that it would become a recurring topic of conversation, and something that I would embrace. This is because in those 10 years I came to find out that we (my brother, sister and I) are in fact 1/16 Jewish. Which, to me, put my life into an entirely different perspective. I mean, I was now, for all intents and purposes, a pale-skinned, blonde-haired, button-nosed Jew - how diverse! Lest we forget, exaggeration was mentioned as being part of the Southern Religion, so this fraction may or may not be distorted (one will never know). And even better than the fraction of my Judaism is the fact that it doesn't even come from my grandmother's side, it comes from my grandfather's side, which according to the Jewish religion - doesn't make me Jewish at all, but mazel to my grandmother for embracing her husband's heritage and passing it on! And yes, it is a little Gefilte-fishy that my grandfather never mentions this background, but let's just go with it for the sake of the blog.
Now that I'm sailing past my mid-twenties, my grandmother's Jewish alter-ego has taken an entirely different direction (insert song - "Matchmaker"). Over the years I have had the privelage of growing my mispoche of Jewish men (Jlo, Big Head, Geranimo, Ginsu, etc) - some of the finest, smartest, well-dressed, and did I mention funniest? people I know. After my grandmother learned about what knakers I was befriending, I realized how much she wanted this shikse to be a part of the clan:
Hinting: "well you know, Jared, Ginger Ann is 1/16 Jewish" (eh? eh?). Planning: "I have always wanted to decorate a chuppah. It would look great in the yard." Complimenting: "I have always said that Jewish men give the best jewelry and make the best lovers." Pushing: "why don't you just go ahead and marry one of those little jew- boys. Women shouldn't have children after the age of 30."
With all of the not-so-subtle hints, I wonder - does my wise grandmother truly believe Judaism to be my destination? Is she just wanting me to live out a life that she only 1/4 had? I have participated in a Seder…I have always enjoyed a good bar/bat mitvah…and challah bread souffle…halt din zoken!
So whether your grandmother wants you to be Jewish, you're a fraction, a wannabe, or just want to know more - the following references will be very helpful in your quest:
- Yiddish terms, complete with pronunciations, Kosher Nosh Dictionary
- Basic overview of the religion, Judaism for Dummies
- Things you should know if you're interested in dating a Jewish man,
What to do when you're dating a Jew, or
Boy Vey!, The Shiksa's Guide to dating Jewish Men - Kosher food, we don't dig on no swine - The Almighty Manischewitz
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